Satire: Elizabeth Warren Returns to Cherokee Tribe in Shame After Failing to Take Back the Land from the Paleface

Craig Huey Government, Congress, and Politics Leave a Comment

NOTE: The Babylon Bee is a news satire website that publishes satirical articles on religion, politics, current events, and well-known public figures. With intentional irony, the site describes itself as “the world’s best satire site, totally inerrant in all its truth claims.”

After dropping out of the 2020 U.S. presidential race, Elizabeth Warren rode on horseback back to her reservation in solitude … having failed to take the land back from the palefaces…

“I am sorry, my people. I have failed,” she said somberly, as a single tear rolled down her cheek. “The white man still holds our land … and the very trees cry out against them. May the Great Spirit grant us another chance to succeed in four harvests.”

The Cherokee expressed mixed emotions at seeing Warren return.

Some asked, “Who are you?” Others chided, “How many times do we have to tell you that if you’re not gonna play some slots at the casino, you’re gonna need to leave?”

Warren nodded as if accepting her banishment from her once-great position among the Cherokee people.

“I accept my punishment and vow never to return until the sun once again never sets on the Cherokee Nation. As I depart, let me simply ask you if you have ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon? Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grins?”

“Wait… now you’re just quoting Pocahontas,” one tribal security officer said. “Alright, lady, let’s go. The buffet is serving crab legs tonight, but other than that you’re gonna have to scram.”

At last observed, Warren was seeking advice from Grandmother Willow as to who she should endorse…

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